As many who read this blog may know, I worked for Couchsurfing International for about a year as their chef. Before getting the job, the website and the concept were virtually unknown to me. While working for the company, I got to know the website pretty well, and then during the last two years, through two backpacking trips I'm getting to know the concept a bit better. Many people that I meet are unfamiliar with it, and as such, are pretty skeptical. The idea of staying in someone's house that you have never met before can be a little, well...foreign. And foreign things can be a bit unnerving at times. So I thought I might write a bit about my experiences with it so far.
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Couchsurfing is an interesting concept. Two years ago, before I had heard of the company, couchsurfing would not have been something I would have been interested in. When I would hear the term, it conjured images of an uncomfortable couch at a friend's house in college that sometimes could be slept on in the event that you couldn't make it home one evening. It meant a somewhat unclean and lumpy sleeping situation in a living room with a couch cushion as a pillow and a throw blanket as the only source of warmth. It meant sleeping in the clothes you wore out that night, and waking up to head home for a shower. In no part of my mind would it be something that I would choose to do for 75% of my nights. Then slowly, starting last year my ideas on that concept started to change.
Last year I spent about three months in Europe backpacking on my own. I know, I know, seems like I spend more time out of the country than I do in it these days. By that time I had worked for the Couchsurfing for a few months, had been able to hear about other people's experiences with surfing and was ready to do it on my own. I wasn't sure what to expect the first time. I was worried I wouldn't do it right. I had spent nights at the houses of friends of friends before, but never at someone's house with whom I didn't have any connection. I wondered if I should bring a gift. I wondered if I would be just sharing a living space or if I should expect to have dinner together. I wondered if it would be awkward, if I would feel uncomfortable, if I should worry for my safety, if I should worry about having my stuff stolen. So many worries, and so few answers.
My first couchsurfing experience was in Italy. My sister had just flown in from Los Angeles to spend two weeks with me, and was equally (if not more) skeptical of the concept. Because of our joint apprehension, I tried to choose very carefully. I spent days pouring over profile after profile (the website is set up in a similar way to other social networking sites, in that all members have a profile that tells about who they are, what they're interested in and the type of accommodations they are offering - as well as a section that includes references from anyone on CS that they have hosted or surfed with) intent on choosing the perfect first host. I spent hours writing intricate requests explaining in depth why I wanted to stay explicitly with them. When I got a positive answer to one of my requests I was certain that it was going to be such an amazing experience for me and my little sister that neither of us would ever want to stay in a hotel again. What may or may not be surprising is that it wasn't.
My first experience was not awesome. I had tried so hard to find the perfect person, I think I lost sight of the forest for the trees. I chose an American student living in Italy, close to our age, from the Bay area, who enjoyed much of the same music and same movies - in fact I think we shared the same 'favorite quote' on our page. Plenty to talk about, I thought, if nothing else, we could always talk about the things we had in common. The problem was, she really only liked Americans. She enjoyed the concept of Italy, but pretty much kept to her bubble within her own city. Turns out, I had tried so hard to find someone that I would be comfortable with I forgot why I was doing it in the first place.
Yes, couchsurfing saves money - and that's a huge part of it. We save an average of 20 euros per night per person, which (at five nights per week) works out to 100 euros per week and 400 per month. Assuming we continue at this rate, at the end of seven months of travel that will save us 2800 euros each (or nearly $4000). So the cost-saving factor is not to be diminished. It's very important to the feasibility of long-term travel. However, couchsurfing is more than that. After that first experience in Italy, I spent some time thinking about where I had gone wrong in my perfect planning. It seems obvious now, as I explain it. It was less obvious two years ago.
It was nearly a month before I tried surfing again. By that time I had made it through most of Italy, going all the way South through Sicily and then back North through Milan, and had stayed in more hostels than I would care to ever stay in again. I was starting to be a little over-budget and more than a little lonely, and thought, I should really try again. I chose my next host less carefully. I was headed to Lyon - so I searched everyone in the city that was offering a couch (whereas before I searched only females between the ages of 25 and 30 that spoke 'expert' English) - and found an Asian man, 34-years-old that I had some music in common with, but not much else. He had quite a few good references, and seemed trustworthy from his profile. I sent him a request, and within the hour, I received a positive response. Here we go again. Staying in a hostel the night before meeting up with him I got nervous again. I'm generally a pretty shy person, what would I have to talk about with this guy? Is it really safe as a woman traveling alone to stay with a man I haven't met?
As soon as I met my host, I knew I had nothing to worry about. He picked me up at the train station, took me with him to a friend's bbq, introduced me to his friends and made me feel like a close member of his family. He was just as interested in learning about my life in the United States as he was in telling me about all the things he loved about France. He picked up fresh bread, cheese and wine on his way home from work every evening that we would eat while discussing our respective days. He gave me a very comfortable couch to sleep on with fresh clean sheets, and never once made me feel like I was imposing (even when I had to ask to stay two extra days when my computer broke). This is what I had been hearing about. I got to learn about his life, what he enjoyed about France, I met his friends, we shared meals and bottles of wine and lengthy conversations. I learned more about what it is like to live in Lyon from someone who loves the city, than I ever could have while staying in a hostel. I ate better food, made better friends and even managed to save a little money.
Immediately hooked, I used my last day in Lyon to set up as many couches as I could in my next few cities. I stayed in Aix-en-Provence with a young couple who timed dinner to be ready just as I arrived. I rode bicycles and ate croissants with a very nice man in Toulouse. I went sunbathing with a very talkative woman on the Greek island of Patras, who couldn't imagine living anywhere else in the world. Then, on my last night in Europe, I attended a symphony rehearsal at the Acropolis with my host, who happened to be the lead celloist in the Athens Philharmonic. That was last year. This year so far Steph and I have shared many meals and conversations with our hosts, and again, have learned more about the cities we're visiting than we could ever hope to by simply walking around with a guidebook. We would never had tried 'smashpot' in Amsterdam, or homemade 'smorbord' in Copenhagen. We probably wouldn't have found the nighttime beer garden overlooking the city in Prague, or watched an Austria vs Turkey football game in a small bar in Vienna (celebrating because Austria managed to eek out a draw).
I think because I worked for Couchsurfing, people are eager to ask me questions about the organization. The most common question is, 'Have you ever had a bad experience through Couchsurfing?' Sure, some experiences are better than others. Some hosts (and when I'm home, some surfers) I just click with better than others. With some the conversation just flows and you are able to strike a natural balance between time spent talking and relaxing. Some are more interested in providing you with a place to sleep than they are with getting to know you (just as some surfers are more interested in a free place to sleep than they are about cultural understanding). But in the end, even looking back on that very first experience in Italy, I have to answer no to that question. Some better than others, all of them different.
Couchsurfing has been something that I can say without question has changed my life, and I'm not the only one who says that. I have heard this time and again from my hosts while traveling. The man in Lyon knew very few people and had fewer friends when he joined the site (so he told me), and now regularly organizes parties with 30 to 40 attendees. His phone did not stop ringing the entire time I was with him. The woman in Vienna who we stayed with said the same. Most of her close friends in the city were met through the website. Couchsurfing to me, is not only something that has enrichened my experiences in new places, but it has also helped me to grow as a person. Two years ago I would not have considered myself great at talking to people I didn't know. Now I find it easier to bridge the gaps that persist when the common background doesn't exist. I have also learned to trust people more. I have learned that some people really do want to do things for people for no other reason than because they enjoy doing it. What a concept.
I hope that Steph and I continue to couchsurf as much as we have been so far. Yes, at times it would just be easier to get a hostel, or pitch the tent somewhere. But if one of our main goals behind traveling around the world is to learn about its inhabitants, then I think the extra effort is warranted. So far, I'm learning more than I ever could have hoped for.
-EC
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